Marriage and love
"First comes love, then comes marriage ... " That old schoolyard rhyme wouldhave been mystifying to many married people in the past. Marriage was an economic arrangement for most of its history, and love had very little to do withanything. For centuries, women had to accept the mates their parents selected for them, no matter how unattracted they were to the men. During the 1800s,that began to change, as women won the right to at least turn down suitors (if not find the man of their dreams). In 19th century America, a movement began that has changed the face of marriage dramatically. A group of people maintained that people's hearts, not the law, made marriages, not any laws, clergy or witnesses. Called "free-lovers," they had many radical ideas that shocked their fellow Victorians, including the suggestion of abolishing marriage altogether. However, their suggestions that people should be able to terminatetheir marriages if they no longer love one another, that men and women shouldbe equals in marriage and that love and affection, not business deals or family partnerships, should be the driving force behind marriage, are with us still.
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